Unending Thoughts

People always tell you that if someone is hurting you badly you should let go, but what they dont tell you is how to let go. Lets be honest if you've loved this person for over 3 years and you knew all along that he ain't acting right but you still love him anyway. But you've reached this point where you can't take it anymore, you've been broken so many times and you believe that you can no longer love him because loving him means breaking yourself more each day and you'll become your own destruction because of this fatal one sided love. Shouldn't the red flags have made themselves noticeable a long time ago? And even if they were noticeable, did you purposely ignore them? When do you draw the line on the amount of hurt you will take? There are times when you honestly dont know why you love him, but you see him and all doubts flow away until he leaves your presence but stays in your mind to haunt you with "whys" for another day. How do you know wh...

It's said that we all choose our poison and majority of us would choose no other way to be crippled emotionally than through said poison. But what if i told you that you never had to pick poison, you will never be able to transform that poison into an antidote its always going to be poison. If you dont understand what exactly im talking about its the same guy you've been trying to convert into the man you hope he will become if you stick through it long enough; but is he really changing? No, he does not need a little bit more love, No , he's not going through a phase (a phase doesn't last for 4  years honey) and hell no he doesn't need a little bit more time to see the wonderful girl/woman he has in his life. It'll never change, he wont wake up one day and realize that he's been an ass to you for the majority of your relationship. You picked poison, and obviously its working on you ; no amount of convincing yourself that you'll be immune to the poison wi...

How do you know that you aren't dating his potential rather than his actuality? Come on, lets be serious, sure you love him but what exactly is it that gives you the chills, the increased beating of your heart and the beautiful stuttering that comes when you attempt to speak with him? Is it the way how in the moment he makes you feel as if no one else in the world matters when you're both alone? or is it how he blatantly ignores you in public? And it may also be the way in which in the throes of lust and passion he wants you like no other and pays keen attention and effort into making you feel an ecstasy that can only be found in romance novels. but after he helps to strip you bare and the deed has been done, does he help you redress? does he kiss you and pay as much attention to you as he did just five minutes ago (lol)? does he shower you with beautiful kisses praising you with compliments or is it that the beautiful, sexy, "romantic", god that has just partaken in ...