Musings of a Pseudo Intellectual

Gaelcon Gaelcon, so good they named it Gaelcon!

2009-11-03T10:31:00.002Z

Yes, it’s over a week since Gaelcon, and yes, it’s over a month since my last post. Both of these faults can be attributed to Gaelcon itself. I was so busy preparing for it that there was no chance of blogging. There was barely time to eat and sleep.

Gaelcon was amazing, nerve wracking, but amazing. I opened Gaelcon with a little magic show for the people queuing. I say little because we toned down what we had originally planned as the queue was quite short. The tricks all worked…… eventually…. And I hope it went quite well. Certainly some people were quite impressed.

No sooner was the magic done than I was running around to get a ticket for an RPG… Ditches and Delph…. Best. Fun. Ever. I know the Author, she’s Mental(in a good way), and it shows. We ended up travelling along on a severely A-Teamed tractor spraying zombies with tea infused Poitín. *shakes head*

Barely had I recovered from my mornings experiences when it was time for the afternoon slot… and my game. Now I had poured a lot of effort into this game. I’d typed and retyped and re worked the plot and come up with new ideas and tweaked the document until it looked seriously cool (in my humble never written a game before opinion). I almost didn’t want to subject my poor little game to a group of salivating caffeine ridden gamers. As it turned out it went quite well. My eternal thanks go to Hec for GM’ing a table and providing input and support, and also to ‘Kitten’ for plot input and the outright insistence on the inclusion of a device, which since it was used by all three tables, was obviously a good idea. Also I should probably thank MY kitten (confusing isn’t it) for putting up with a game getting more attention than her.

Suffice to say, the game was splendid, fun was had… I was at points laughing so hard I couldn’t describe scenarios. Brilliant all round.

Everything was quiet until the Jumptech Larp the next Day, I spent the afternoon as a Doctor, which is always fun, and Jumptech always ends up as a hectic fast paced scenario. So much was going on, and so much fun was being had, that I almost missed my stage debut as Captain Hammer!!! Our Director was none too impressed… but with delays in clearing the Hall, it all turned out alright.

Our stage Production of Dr. Horrible’s Sing Along Blog went down a storm. We knew people would probably be enthusiastic, but we didn’t expect applause BETWEEN scenes. We ended to a standing ovation. It was amazing, it was wonderful, it was some of the best fun I have ever had… I am NEVER doing it again! Con Directors and Stage Directors take note! (For all the good it will do me :op)

We ended with the closing ceremony the next night. Oblivia, Grandpa Hatey and Whedonite were reunited at last, though their heckling was somewhat subdued. And, to my great shock and surprise (ask Heck, he was sitting next to me) I won best written game for con!! Considering it was the first game I’ve ever written, I am humbled and amazed.

In summary, thank you to everyone who made Gaelcon one of the best Weekends ever!

Now to get my life back

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Misadventures in Gaming

2009-05-12T08:19:00.003+01:00

All my friends seem to be recounting their humourous tales of gaming shenagins. So, ever eager to jump on the bandwagon, I decided I'd throw a few out there.

Now I don't have quite as many gaming stories as most of the guys I know, as I'm a bit of a prodigal son when it comes to gaming. I pretty much stopped gaming when I left *cough*droppedout*cough* of College. I only resumed my exploits as an imagineer last year. But my group are great guys and have provided a ton of fun and hilarity.

The best times, as far as I'm concerned where when I ran my first ever game, a GURPS Discworld scenario. I intended this game to last 6 - 8 weeks at a stretch. It ran from September to the end of January.... They would not let me end it!!!

to set the tone of this adventure, the party comprised of a kleptomaniac thief, a dull witted troll watchman, Vetenaris chief spy/hitman... who was a gnome, an Igor, and a bimorphic werecat pirate.

What was I thinking?

I should have known there was going to be trouble from the very first game (which I intended to be a simple get to know everyone and go on a simple stealth reconnaissance mission). The werecat beat up the palace Guards... while packing for the trip. When they did go on the mission to retrieve a map, they broke into the grounds of the house, disabled the external guards. (one was left up a tree... the other two were covered in brandy and arranged spooning with their trousers down. They were all unconcious at this point, the players just thought it would be fun *shakes head*)

They gained entry to the building and were sneaking ineffectively around when discovered by an internal guard.... whom they killed. it was at this point (yep... not the brandy... but here) that I thought things might be starting to get out of hand.... I was so right it was wrong.

the two highlights of the ensuing chaos as far as I'm concerned were:

The thief critting a stealth roll... walking right up to a guard to steal his shiny dagger... then killing him with it.

The troll watchman questioning the head guard:

Troll: we is investigating a breakin in dis house

Guard: But I checked all the doors and they're locked

Troll: Yep.. Dey is very stealthy criminals

*door opens slightly and in tumbles the dead body of a guard that the rest of the party decided to dispose of through that very door*

*guard turns around and notices dead body*

Guard: Omg SMithy!! you're dead!! how did this happen!! where did he come from!?!

Troll: Told u dey was stealthy

*shakes head*

This was in the first game. I may recount more of the groups exploits should they prove to be interesting enough

Life changing decisions much?

2009-05-07T09:05:00.003+01:00

So, I'm engaged. My girlf... sorry.. my fiancé turned around to me yesterday and asked if I felt any different. I said not really (I was considering saying "Yeah, I seem to have developed a sense of gut wrenching terror and an overwhelming urge to run" ... but I didn't think she'd appreciate the joke). Should I feel any different? I mean it's not like last week I wasn't going to marry her and this week I am, it's just that the time had finally arrived when I felt it was time to ask. And yet there is a change, people expect us to have plans. About half the people we tell ask have we set a date (the other half say we better start saving... is a fiancé more expensive than a girlfriend? I really should have read the warranty). We haven't set a date by the way, and don't intend to anytime soon. We don't intend on marrying for over a year at least and we both have more important things to be doing than picking out cake. mmmmm... cake. It's like because we've actually reached this point in our lives we've suddenly inherited responsibilities to plan and arrange and provide information. I don't get or agree with this nonsense. We will have a (small) wedding when we have the time and energy to arrange it. There will not be pomp and circumstance or shouting to the heavens (there may be cake). We took our time to get where we are, and where we are is happy, I see no reason in rushing now.

Good old Irish Weather

2009-04-29T08:37:00.004+01:00

Well, that's a relief, for a while there I thought I was going to have to go an entire month without having a day completely ruined by dreary drizzle. Good old Irish weather is back, as evidenced by me getting soaked on the way to work.

Irish weather is, I believe, a defence mechanism of the world. If the irish weren't constantly complaining about the weather... who knows WHAT we'd get up to (alcohol was also invented for this very purpose)

My gaming group is taking a break (abrupt change of subject I know but I'm too tired for subtlety), so for the first time in over a year, I face the prospect of Monday nights not spent imagining a world more exciting. I'm unsure if it is a curse or a blessing. Probably a curse, though it will give me the opportunity to complete the game I'm writing for Gaelcon, something which has stalled in the past few weeks. Who knows, with all the extra time, I might actually be able to make it good.

Does Everyone Apprehend The Horizon

2009-04-23T09:59:00.005+01:00

Sitting unwittingly, growing from within me,
Chaos it stills me.

Fear not a part of me, no longer heart in me
when will the world see.

Pain has succumbed to empty places that sear my eyes.
Deaf to the world, I turn from those who wont realise,

My tired life is slipping,
Feel myself slipping,
Away

The weekend that was

2009-04-20T08:28:00.003+01:00

Well... that was quite a weekend, it began on Friday night, which is unusual for me, with a work outing to Harolds cross dogs. I got home, changed, and out there in record time, only to find my self with only 5 euro and not an ATM in sight. Resigning myself to a boring night I started betting. The first five bets I made all came in, leaving me with 45 euro. Of course, the universe being as balanced as it is, my next five bets all lost, leaving me with no money. But I had a great time and enjoyed myself, so overall it was a scoreless win.

Saturday was spent driving at great speeds, screeching around corners and spinning out of control. No, I didn't go back home to Ballyfermot, I was Go Karting. It was a friend of mine's Stag and one HELL of a day. My back is still a little sore from the pounding. We were driving those things so hard that one guy lost a wheel, A WHEEL!! And whats more is he still managed to take another two corners on three wheels before crashing. No one was injured, though I'll have to check if the Stag caught a cold from the copious amounts of water poured over him as he left the final race :op

After that it was back into town for food and as much Drink as the Stag could handle... or not, as it turned out, but that's a quark of a different flavour. Suffice to say that much fun was had, much drink was consumed, and a great night had. Highlights include the massive attack of the group hug, giving the stag the bumps... for... some reason that escapes me, and the always interesting and intriguing conversations that can only be had when drinking in someones apartment at 3am.

Sunday was a blazing glorious sunny day that I spent inside studying for an insurance exam.... not happy bout that, but hopefully it will pay off... only time will tell.

Attack of the R Monster

2009-04-08T08:23:00.002+01:00

Well, that's it then, mini budget given, and it wasn't that bad. Don't get me wrong, I'm not exactly jumping for joy about handing over another 1% of my salary, but it could have been a lot worse. In Fairness, I don't drink smoke or drive, so I wasn't really worried about excise duties in the first place. I'm happy enough to plod on, wait for my rent to drop, and then huddle down for the long winters night (Lidl roasted marshmallows anyone?).

Evil Demons of Larpy Fun

2009-04-06T09:01:00.003+01:00

This weekend was pretty packed. Spent Saturday night out for Warpspeeds birthday. My arrival only slightly delayed by the Gardai cordoning off half of smith field square for no apparent reason. I checked the news and there's nothing about it anywhere. Secret Government conspiracy I hear you cry???

Anyway, once everyone got sorted it turned out to be a really fun night, I don't know about the birthday boy, but I had amazing fun. The point where the mistress of the dark pink fluffy things produced a pack of cards and prodded me into an impromptu magic show was quite memorable, as was the anal retentive carlsberg beer mat jigsaw endeavour (Try saying that three times fast with a mouth full of mushy peas).

That was followed the next day by a trip to vaticon. Originally I wasn't going to go to vaticon, it's quite a small con and my life is so busy, but then I read that a girl I know had written an RPG, and then I read the Blurb, and I laughed, so I thought... what the Hell!!!

Best. Decision. Ever.

Noodles RPG was the funniest game I have ever played. From the exaggerated country accents, to rolling dice to establish the effects of the poitín our characters were drinking, to equipping a tractor with a spud cannon and a Sheep-apault. I brought my faithful con Puppet Oblivia along to the RPG... Noodle gave her her own character. Something I think she regretted quite soon. I don't know about everyone else, but the highlight of the game for me, was when we broke it... so badly... that Noodle tore up the plot sheet.. and left the room. We broke her good. In fairness she was an amazing sport about it, even anticipating our behaviour, so at the end she had point totals for how many times we each broke the game. the winner was Ben... with 20!

*sigh*

Speaking of happy times breaking things, since Oblivia had to stay for the closing ceremony, I signed up for a LARP for the afternoon. I didn't realise it was a Rubber sword LARP, I spent the first 10 minutes severely intimidated. there were a crapload of things to remember, from power point pools to health levels to spell calls. But once we got into it it was just all kinds of brilliant. I got to break Noodle... again... this time by killing the Monster she was playing... over.. and over again. I'm particularly happy about using a command spell to make enemy monsters throw me their Weapon... that went quite well :o)

The down side of all the runny shouty hitty excitement is that I am INCREDIBLY sore and stiff today. I have trouble walking.

So in summery, an amazing weekend, totally worth all the effort and even the pain, but I think I'll need a few weeks of recovery before I try anything like that again.

April Fools!

2009-04-01T08:24:00.002+01:00

And so they begin. I wake on the first day, of the fourth month... and before my bleary eyes have time to clear I find out that Gaelcon is cancelled and wikipedia are reporting that Brian Cowen is running through the streets naked.

*Shakes My Head*

Happy fooling everyone

If you seek Amy

2009-03-30T10:43:00.004+01:00

My gorgeous adorable little kitten (occasionaly refered to as my girlfriend) is obsessed with Britney Spears. It's an inherent design fault, I tried to bring her back to the shop for repair but they said her warranty had expired the previous day... always happens.
Anyway, the upshot of this is that I have been exposed to the sounds of Britney Spears new album for over a month now, probably longer, time seems to lose all meaning. And one of the songs was confusing the hell out of me. It goes "Love me, Hate me, think what you want about me, cause all of the boys and all of the girls are begging to if you seek Amy"
Who is Amy, why are they seeking her, and why must it be put in such grammatically confusing sentances? The penny finally dropped when I heard that people were calling for the song to be banned. They said it was too explicit. I must have heard the song 50 times and it never hit me, it's all in the phonetics....

If you seek Amy= F U C K me

Bravo Britney... bravo.

I hate being a grown up

2009-03-26T10:57:00.002Z

When did it happen? I caught myself today searching rent levels in my area so that I can negotiate a rent reduction when my lease renews, and then I was looking at apartments in other areas just incase the lease falls through. How Grown up is that? Scarily so as far as I'm concerned. I have far to many worries and responsibilities for my liking, but then that (I am told) is life.

It's times like these when I realise why people play the lottery. You assume it's because they're chasing the dream of untold riches and gold bathtubs, but I think it's simpler than that. They're chasing security. Enough money that I never have to worry about rent or mortgages or surprise bills... ever again. Is that too much to ask?

Invisible peer pressure

2009-03-25T14:43:00.003Z

It could be said that peer pressure is itself an invisible force (strangely, one not accepted by physicists, except possibly string theorists, they'll accept anything), but I'm referring to a peer pressure that's invisible even to my peers. Some of my friends have started blogging (they're the blogs I'm following on my profile), and now I feel compelled to follow suit.

Of course it's a lot easier for me to start blogging as I have various unattended blogs littering the web waves, but still they could have spared even a few seconds of thought as to the unnecessary effort I would put my self through upon reading their literary endeavours... I mean Really!

So now I'm blogging over on Nononsense and here, and my website has been left unfinished for months, and I've got a crazy amount of work to do...

.... Dam those fools.

New Car Woes

2009-01-07T16:13:00.004Z

I'm looking the to buy my first car, some of the woes of which you can read about over at no nonsense. And it is just soooo nerve wracking. I mean with most things in life you can walk into a shop, see something you like, pay for it and bring it home, quietly reassured that should it fall apart you will be able to take it back and complain (a common Irish passtime). But with the wonderful world of used cars you have none of these reassurances. So now I have to find a car I like (Preferably at a nearby dealer, no use finding the perfect car in swords if I've no way to get there), go look at it and decide if I want it. Then AFTER I decide I want it, I have to get a mechanic to go look at it and tell me if it's any good. So I may end up being told that I don't actually want the car I think I want, and be charged for the priveledge. Never in my life can I recall a purchase which caused me more stress and worry (no I haven't bought a house yet). I don't know whether to plunge in and get it over with or to delay as much as possible in the hopes of making the most informed decision.

*Quietly wishing for a reliably motoring New Year*

Shadows past

2006-10-03T21:37:00.000+01:00

You know I never knew you,
Though I saw you every day.
I never really knew you,
Till the day you went away.

Now once strong pillars tremble,
And things are not the same.
And it's hard to take another step,
When my sadness calls your name.

I've tried to live, I know I can,
But sometimes I'm not so sure.
For the life I live just seems so pale,
When compared to ones like yours.

So I try to hold my head up high,
Through thoughts that can't be sane.
But my whole world seems to stop a beat,
When my sadness calls your name.

Do You Hear Me?

2006-09-12T18:24:00.000+01:00

Do you hear me swimming,
Through a sea of shattered dreams?
Do you hear the screaming,
Feel the pain that never leaves?

Do you even know me,
Or just the face I let you see?
And if I drown in anguish,
Will the passers by miss me?

For the pool is dark and deeper
Than the hole within my heart.
And the sharks of darkness circle,
Ripping my small life apart.

You can never hear my crying,
You can never understand.
Why my hopes and dreams of living,
Now are drowning in the sand.

Lives of moving sand

2006-09-12T18:22:00.000+01:00

Do you seek to trap and snare me,
With a dream of long lost sleep?
Knowing that my mind grows weary,
Never finding what I seek.

And my body longs to linger,
Languished lying all reposed.
Far from worlds of burning questions,
And the answers never known.

And I know that you are winning,
As the pen falls from my hand.
We are not our dreams of greatness,
Merely lives of moving sand.

Broken Shell

2006-09-11T18:27:00.000+01:00

Treading boards uncertainly
Watching doubts unfold,
Praying in a fragile loop
I will not leave you cold

For my heart loses so much warmth
From razors of regret
That cut me till I cannot bleed
For I have nothing left

I’m empty now they’ve taken all
There is that’s left of me
And now I stand a broken man
I’ve given up, you see

Mourning Life

2006-09-11T18:24:00.000+01:00

I mourn for lives of romance
Never seeing light of day
For careful hearts did hide them
Fearful what the world would say

I mourn for dreams forgotten
Left to moulder in the wings
As so called real life took first place
A love of fiscal things.

I mourn for die hard dreamers,
Freezing in a world unkind.
As stone cold hearts, devoid of warmth
Have left them all behind.

I mourn a long lost childhood
That I never really had.
It only ever lived in dreams,
Now isn’t that quite sad?

Fighting you

2006-09-11T18:18:00.000+01:00

Another twist another turn
You turn it round I never learn
And yet again another problem is with me

Cause the ghosts of haunted halls,
Seem to ring amid your calls
Till the tears I shed no longer let me see

I try to stand I take your hand
But you pull me down to land
Among the skeletons my closet cannot hold

And Once again I wish to end
This stoic journey as it wends
Its way through valleys that have never seemed so cold.

So take my life but take your lies
My own emotions are your spies
So I’ll reject them for this treason they have done

I’ll lock myself away
From the cruel harsh light of day
Lest I’m burned alive a failing setting sun.

Now the darkness will enfold
All that can’t be bought or sold
Leaving nothing but a shell of realty

Now I am gone, no longer live here
In this body of abject fear
There is nothing left you truly could call me.

as so it begins

2006-08-05T09:36:00.000+01:00

I have no illusions as to who will read this. I'm guessing on the near side of no one. And hey thats ok, I'm not moaning or wallowing in self pity here. This is not a 'Woe is me' moment. I don't mind if it doesn't get read just so long as its out there. as Long as I can muster the motivation and the energy to create... I'm happy... what happens to it after that is in the hands of God/Goddess.

Well first post should tell you about me.. I think all you really need to know is I'm a 24 year old Male living in Dublin Ireland. Anything else you need to know can be gleaned from my rambling musings.. or you know you could just ask... bit out there I know... but lets go with it.

As I sit on this lazy saturday morning.. with a long weekend ahead of me, my thoughts are some what sedate, not unhappy exactly but ore a quiet kind of thoughtful. I'm missing something. An energy I once possesed, a freedom I once lived.. and it is with me no longer.the thought of just going out and getting it back just scares the ever lovin hell outta me.. (I'm a shy boy after all)

It's a lovely day out.. an irish summer thats actually sunny... It's been throwing a few people I can tell you. I'm going to the zoo.. I'm going to take hundreds of pictures of animals. and this brings me a gentle happiness, it does. its a nice day. but I remember when days where more than just nice, I remember when they were fun and filled with laughter, I remember when I truly felt alive,, even if what it took for me to feel and realise that was to face death.and I can never go back. That's not to say I can't regain some of my fun up for it out there personality... but I can't go back there... to that happy cocoon of disillusionment... that warm fluffy place.

Is this life.. does every body spend the majority of their lives pining for a life they never had.. a life constructed of only happy memories,, and held together with nostalgia?

who knows.. all I ask for is a beautiful moment and a cmera to capture it... and a gloria jeans white caramel oreo.. but thats another story entirely